Don’t know why I am feeling so sad. May be because I think I am not getting enough time with my dear. I am so frustrated & the thought of his absence is making me feel really bad. I know, my mood swings every now & then. Sometimes I feel I am not normal. I do enjoy normal & silly things in life. But when I am not being cared for or when I am not even in the picture, I guess that’s when I feel dejected.
From childhood I have built a place for myself because nobody was extra caring or that attached to me except my mom. And when I met my dear, I got one more caring & loveable person in my life. But when I don’t get the attention, I go crazy. I know it’s not their fault. They have to give attention to all. But since I am brought up in a bad way of life I feel rejected when I am not taken care of. Maybe it’s all in the minds & I am mad. There is nothing impossible right. So I think this is just temporary but the feeling has been going on for few hours & I am not able to curb it. Is there anyway?
Suddenly I thought probably I should go out alone. That should help. You can be yourself & you don’t have to act in front of others or give 100’s of explanation as to why you are not doing this or that. So I decided to go on but where am I going..?? Is there anyplace where I will get the solitude I want? I really don’t know. One thing is because I live in a place where there are fewer options. No malls, No multiplexes & in fact there is nothing I would say. But there is one thing BEACH, since its noon & if I go at this time & sit there, people will think I am really mad. Not that I care what others say, but I should take care of myself, I mean my complexion..:-) There is nothing to laugh about it; coz even guys are health conscious. I would say I am less conscious about myself & I think I should change that. Better late than never..!!!
